Have you had a conversation with someone who does not look into your eyes? I know of this lady who will look at my ears while having a conversation, probably to figure out if what I was wearing were real solitaires. You wonder whether they’re more interested in you or your clothes, jewelry or the message on their mobile.
When was the last time you made a conscious effort to look a person in the eye and paid attention to their eye movement? Do you just look or do you make a connection? Most human relationships are based on trust and eyes help us to just do that. Trust is communicated through the eyes. Think about this would you trust someone who cannot maintain eye connection? No, you cannot as you will lose interest in that person and will question their credibility and knowledge. We wonder what they’re looking at or we walk away because we feel that we are not important to them.
For a meaningful communication use your eyes to connect. Look people in the eye and in doing so you deliver the message, “You are important, I want to listen to you and I am paying full attention to what you have to say.” On the contrary when you glance at the floor or ceiling or look at your phone, you are jeopardizing a listener’s trust in you and your message. I am always surprised at the number of individuals who find it difficult to make a connection through their eyes and actually struggle with looking people in the eye. It is an imperative body language tool to influence and impact.
Make the effort to make the eye contact and transition it to make a connection, to gain and maintain trust, to pause at the right moment and then move you eyes to the next individual or object. Changing your habit from eye contact to eye connection takes practice and concentration. Practice with a family member or a friend by looking in the eye till you complete an entire sentence and pausing when you look away. Avoid looking on top of their heads or the ceiling or the mobile.
Eye connection allows us to conduct a one-to-one conversation with our listeners that are professional and impactful. Use them to your advantage. When you are focused and paying attention with you eyes you will send a message of trust and confidence to your clients, friends and family. So do it and change the view.
If you still don’t believe how much difference eye contact can make. Have a look at this beautiful YouTube video, by Amnesty Poland.