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How to transcend self doubt and become confident?

THE POWER OF SELF-CONFIDENCE

Let us talk about confidence. It is one skill that can make you hugely successful. Confidence is a fundamental building block of your success. Confidence is like the trunk of the tree and the branches are an offshoot of that tree. Confidence is about accepting who you are and being comfortable with that reality. It is about making a decision defined by a choice of standing tall in your own space.

Being confident is very important as without it we loose out on opportunities in life that could change our story. Our lack of confidence can lead to a poor image, a low bank balance, not so healthy relationships, depression, marital problems, a lack luster career among others. Confidence or the lack of it can impact every aspect of our lives. Think about a time when you did not have the conversation as you lacked confidence. Think of the time when you were not confident and messed up that interview. Think of the time when you did not go for what you desired because you were scared of the final outcome. Because of lack of confidence you stopped, you got scared and did not take the necessary action.Confidence is about letting go of that fear.

Confidence is not dependent on your education, body size, color of your skin, your gender. Confidence is not something you have to go and search for. There is no real drama around it. You make a decision to be confident. You say to yourself, “Today I am going to be in my enough space. Today I will appreciate myself for who I am. Today I refuse to be guarded by self-doubt and my limitations. Today I will embrace the truth of my inner magnificence.” You create the intention to be confident and the rest follows.

More often that not we live and work on auto mode. We are not paying close attention to our intentions, thoughts and actions. Instead of us driving our agenda, underlying patterns and behaviours harm and trouble us than take our lives forward. Why is that so? It is because we have accumulated mental garbage of all that the society imposes on us. We have not reflected upon and sat down on and cleaned that garbage out of our minds. Subconsciously we have allowed our minds to operate from the space of not being enough for we help on to the negative comments, humongous expectations and regrets of our lives. In doing that we have lost touch with our humanness and greatness and have started to believe that we are not enough, and that has weighed us down.

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In our work we meet so many individuals with wonderful set of qualities and attributes. And as they speak of their not being good enough I often want to tell them look at yourself with a fresh pair of eyes. You are a divine being going through a human experience and you are part of that infinite fabric of universe – own that reality. There is a story of Laila-Majnu. It is a part of our ancient folklore that there was this man called Majnu who was in love with this girl called Laila. Laila was according to the standards of society not conventionally a beautiful looking woman but for Majnu she epitomized beauty and grace. One day one of his friends who had seen Laila questioned him, “Hey Majnu, why are you so madly in love with this very ordinary looking woman, sorry friend she is plain ugly.” To this Majnu retorted back, “You don’t have my eyes.” The moral of the story is you need to look at yourself from a fresh perspective.  The way you are is good. Of course, you can improve yourself but come from a space of improvement not of giving up on yourself.

We all have unresolved issues and stories of self-defeat and injustices. It is part of our human experience. Being confident does not guarantee you will not have problems and challenges, but confidence builds the muscles that will help you deal with it in a better manner. Being confident will help you believe in yourself and your ability to meet life in all its hues and colors.

So know that as you decide to become confident you will create a new life and new experiences for yourself which will help you unlock the infinite potential that you have.

AMAZING BENEFITS OF BEING CONFIDENT

 So what do we gain when we become confident. The ability to achieve whatever we set our mind to and go for it is the stuff legends are made of. What happens when we have confidence in our abilities well we become the greatest of business leaders, sportspersons, entertainers and give the world inspiring stories to follow and emulate.

Whether it is the story of Dhirubhai Ambani who rose to become one of the biggest business tycoons or that of MS Dhoni of believing in himself and having the confidence of trying again and again till he succeeded despite personal and professional setbacks are amazing examples of what you achieve when you are confident.

Being confident helps you to lead a life of being true to your core values and beliefs as when you are confident you align yourself to your highest vision of yourself and choose to live with integrity. You make a commitment to yourself to become the best version of yourself. In being confident we call upon the latent qualities we are endowed with and work with those to accomplish our ambitions and desires.

Confident people are quite aware of their limitations and flaws and they keep working on them. They do not give up when they face challenges and setbacks – for they are emotionally mature to understand that all of it is a part of the game of life.  They understand the Japanese proverb that greatness is not in never falling but in getting up every time you fall. None of us is guaranteed a bed of roses. Confident people prepare themselves mentally and spiritually for the tough times. They do not beat themselves up mentally when the tough times come.

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Another advantage of being confident is you do not get intimidated by others. When you are confident you come from a space of letting others be. You do not become self-conscious when you see someone more talented or better dressed than you are. On the contrary if you see extraordinary talent you think of ways you can learn from that person. You are willing to acknowledge the gifts and talents of other individuals and feel happy about other people’s accomplishments. For you know there is a space and place for everyone to do well. You have a winner’s attitude and it shows in the way you carry yourself in public.

When you become confident you realize the potential you have to make a difference in your life. You gain momentum in life. Because the barriers that existed before do not matter anymore. You slowly but surely open up the vistas of your mind and unlock your hidden potential. You unshackle the negative belief systems and long held wrong ideas to let in fresh ideas flow and in doing so take forward your life and of those around you. You give yourself the ability to move forward and take concrete actions in the direction of your dreams. You become your own best friend and greatest motivator. You learn the skills and work on your knowledge base and you become the master creator of your destiny. You start to believe that limitations are only the ones that you impose upon yourself.

When you choose to be confident you choose to become a leader. Most people are followers as they lack the confidence to be bold and own their place in the world. They are scared of what others will think, what if they fail, what if others do not approve. But confident people face fear headlong. They challenge their fears and take massive action to move in the direction of their dreams. They follow their own path but they keep an eye open for the lessons that they need to move forward. They carve out their path.

FOUR WAYS TO HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE

 What is the road map to being more confident? Now that we know that confidence is a major catalyst to success in life what are the ways that we can increase that and help us move forward is what we cover here.

  1. Practice more of what you want to be – Confidence is about competency. In Psychology we talk of the term confidence-competency loop. As we learn something our confidence increases. We become more and more confident with regards to doing it. In other words practice makes a man perfect. Do you remember the first time you learn to ride a bike or drive a car you were scared but as you mastered the art of driving your confidence grew multi-fold. When you start something do not judge yourself. It is fine not to know as they say a journey to a thousand miles starts with a single step. Take that first step and be consistent with practicing and soon you will develop the skills and you will be become more confident. You remained the same but you gained a new skill, knowledge, a new talent and that gives you confidence.
  1. Have a vision for yourself – Another key way of becoming more confident is to have a vision for yourself. Do not wallow in self-pity and think about the fact that you are born human and the avenues and opportunities that are available to you. You are living miracle think of what you want to accomplish. Think in a positive manner. As we think so we become, so what do you think about it. What are the ambitions and goals you have for yourself? Do not think small. Because in doing that you disrespect yourself and your potential. Some people say I have not seen anything in life so difficult to have a vision. Well read books, surf the net, look at the successful people around you, read biographies of sports star watch inspiring movies. There is a lot in this world that can inspire you if only you look for it.confidence-and-persevearance
  2. Surround yourself with positive people– Run away from negative people who pull you down and sap you from all your positivity. Keep an arm’s length distance from the suckers of the soul. We always need a community around us that will be our cheerleaders. Recently in the movie MS Dhoni we see that the Indian captain had his band of friends who never give up on him.

Look carefully around you sometimes it can be a parent or a close friend who is always making fun of you. You need to carefully think of ways to take a distance from negative people even if they are close to you. If you do have that you will gain confidence as others cheer you on. You will have a support system when things start to get tough. And if you do not have that support group don’t worry – become your own best friend and also look for those who can support you.

  1. Do not compare yourself with others –One of the biggest mistakes we make are when we demean who we are and start comparing ourselves. The world is enough to pull us down then why do we do that to ourselves. There are couple of reasons one of them is we were compared to our siblings as a child so we feel that is the right way to think and behave. Maya Angelou says, “When we know better, we do better.” Know that comparing yourself will not get you anywhere. You have your own unique set of qualities and even the way you look is distinct from the seven billion out there. Own that space and appreciate yourself for the person you are. Build yourself through positive reinforcement. Follow your path, chase your dreams and know that you are special, magnificent creation of God.


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